He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
