On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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