Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize