I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
