But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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