Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
