I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
