I can text with my tongue
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize