she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
