you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
