i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
