Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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