I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
