I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
