Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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