I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
