the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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