I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
