When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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