If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
