he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
