she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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