She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
