I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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