dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
