I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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