I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
