Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
