It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
