you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
