birth control should be required to get into college
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
