I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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