the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She bit a glass in half.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
