i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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