you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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