We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
