is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
