God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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