and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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