I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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