If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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