I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
