I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
