Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
