he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
