no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's blow job season.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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