Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
