If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
