I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
