I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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