I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
