I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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