Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
