FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
