never play flip cup with pint glasses
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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