Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
