so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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