Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize