Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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