that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
