The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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