Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
