Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm both gender and math confused
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