in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
