just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
