Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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