Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
