It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
