never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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