if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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